Actual Feedback My Husband Has Left for Sellers on eBay, Part Two

July 18, 2011 § 1 Comment

A followup to the original 2008 post. Yes, he buys a lot of stuff.

Got locked in the freezer again last night. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

he was a great man. unfortunately he was mauled by pandas.

STOP TOUCHING MY COMPUTER SCREEN WITH YOUR FINGERS

If you’d like more butter, you’re GOING TO HAVE TO ASK NICELY

I swallowed my phone. I had just put it on vibrate, too 😦

Gummy worms? Really, people? They’re disgusting.

a panda talking on the phone. huh, now ive seen everything

REEL GOOD LIKE A TURKEY SANDWICH FILLED WITH $20 BILLS

Look out, you may get stung by a walsp!! BZZZZZT

Stolen cement is really worth nothing on the black market 😦

Spraypaint seaweed gold makes for a cheap alternative to expensive tinsel.

Need a ride to the airport? Too bad!

I rode a bike into a lake and got attacked by fish.

MY LUNCH WAS EATEN BY BADGERS LOL

impossible is not a word that I can spell after having wine. wait, I did!!!!

Made me feel so good I put a panda in a headlock!!! RARRRRRRRR

Couldn’t get the poison out of my leg in time…world fading…

Salt water makes a terrible Christmas present. Are you listening, Dad?!?!

You think slamming the door will win this argument? It won’t!!!!!

For three….it’s good!!!!

gingerbread men aren’t really that good after 3 days. kinda hard

I THREW IT ON THE GROUND

People really get upset with smoking in hospitals. Weird.

I got into a fistfight with a panda one time.

one time i got hit in the head with a beach ball full of rice

Hippos have been unfairly classified as “hungry” when they’re naturally chubby.

YOU GAVE ME THE GIFT OF PANTS

My pet schnauzer Captain Biggles said it best: “Arf arf grrrrrrrrrrr arfffrrrr!”

BANANA STEW KITTENS

You need to clean the microwave more often, David.

“Olympics is every 4 years,” said the panda. “Shut up,” said the beaver.

Finally, people will respect me. Especially that jerk Carlos.

I got hit in the face by a Frisbee once, now I wear a helmet.

This year’s Thanksgiving was awkward, especially given my behavior.

I ran 10 miles today. I was chasing after my escaped zebra.

We’ had lemonade, but what about lime-ade? You’re right, it’s probably f

I GOT ATTACKED BY A PANDA ON WEDNESDAY, FINE NOW THANKS!

My cat is so loud. I don’t know what his problem is.

Did I need this? No. Did it arrive quickly? Yes. Are kittens awesome? Yes.

If the government ever bans kittens, I will be an outlaw!!!

man that was a sweet pig roast last weekend but wtf was up with the bbq sauce

PUT A LITTLE EXTRA CUMIN IN YOUR FLOUR TO SPICE UP CHICKEN PICATTA

Great transaction, ver smoo..OMG A BEAR!!!

this was perfect for shaving my llama

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG pirate attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it normal for a gerbil to sleep longer than 4 hours?

Thanks for the book, but I gave it to my horse and he can’t read 😦

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