My iPod and My Privacy

June 24, 2011 § Leave a comment

Scott and I play white noise at night — to help us sleep. Sometimes our building sways a bit in the wind, and creaks as it shifts, which can be distracting. Other times, cats mew and vie for our attention, because what do they care they sleep all day, so it is helpful to have a bit of a soundblock.

The file, called 10hournoise (because sometimes we sleep that long on weekends, and the shift from one 10 block to the next will always wake us up and gently remind us you’re being lazy), lives on my iPod.

I listen to my iPod all day long. At work, in the car, everywhere.
The songs I listen to are generally a reflection of my state of mind.
Scott is almost always the one to fish my iPod out of my purse to turn on 10hournoise.
Which means he always sees the very last song I was listening to.
Which, on a very ridiculous level, feels like an invasion of privacy.
I know!
We see each other naked but … this? It’s my brain!
It can be illuminating, both white light and dark light.
Let me show you.

The Song or Artist: The New Pornographers, A.C. Newman
What It Really Means: I am happy.
What I Think He Thinks: “Holy shit, this again?”
What He Really Thinks: “I’m happy that my wife’s happy.”

The Song or Artist: Journey, “Don’t Stop Believing”
What It Really Means: I was screaming along to they lyrics in my car on the drive home from work.
What I Think He Thinks: “Somebody was screaming in their car tonight!”
What He Really Thinks: “Somebody was definitely screaming in their car tonight.”

The Song or Artist: Maroon 5
What It Really Means: I would like to be wined and dined like a lady.
What I Think He Thinks: “That guy sings like a girl.”
What He Really Thinks: “That dude is pretty cool.”

The Song or Artist: Metric, “Help, I’m Alive”
What It Really Means: I’m feeling down about my knee.
What I Think He Thinks: Probably nothing.
What He Really Thinks: “…”

The Song or Artist: Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson, “Relator”
What It Really Means: I’m mad at him.
What I Think He Thinks: “Great, she’s mad at me.”
What He Really Thinks: “What did I do this time? Think, dammit!”

The Song or Artist: George Michael, ‘Freedom’
What It Really Means: I feel like I am in over my head on something.
What I Think He Thinks: “Holy shit, this again?”
What He Really Thinks: “SOMETIMES THE CLOTHES DO NOT MAKE THE MAAA-AAN”

The Song or Artist: Neutral Milk Hotel
What It Really Means: I am sad.
What I Think He Thinks: “Uh oh.”
What He Really Thinks: “I wish it was the New Pornographers on here.”

The Song or Artist: Nada Surf, “Blankest Year”
What It Really Means: I feel like throwing a party.
What I Think He Thinks: “We’re not throwing a party!”
What He Really Thinks: “When was the last party we threw? We’re due.”

The Song or Artist: Miley Cyrus, Pink, Britney Spears, etc.
What It Really Means: I went to the gym.
What I Think He Thinks: “What the hell did I get myself into?”
What He Really Thinks: “I secretly love this song.”

The Song or Artist: The Black Keys, “Everlasting Light”
What It Really Means: I was making that choo-choo train motion during the “Love is the coal that makes this train roll” lyric.
What I Think He Thinks: “Meredith and that damn train lyric.”
What He Really Thinks: “I wonder if anyone saw her make that arm motion.”

The Song or Artist: The Thermals, Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, Dashboard Confessional
What It Really Means: I’m frustrated.
What I Think He Thinks: “Emo. Still?!?”
What He Really Thinks: “She was rocking out in her car again.”

The Song or Artist: Beyonce, “Get Me Bodied”
What It Really Means: I miss Tracey.
What I Think He Thinks: “She only knows this song because of me!”
What He Really Thinks: “I remember the time we watched this video with Tracey and Nick in NYC. Miss them.”

The Song or Artist: Sharon Jones
What It Really Means: I’m thinking about Scott.
What I Think He Thinks: “She only knows Sharon Jones because of me!”
What He Really Thinks: “I’m glad I got her into this.”

See???
He’s IN MY HEAD.

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