The Orange & Blonde Smoothie. I Invented It, and It’s Awesome*

March 10, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’ve made this smoothie for breakfast every day this week, except for this morning, because I’ve run out of all the ingredients except for milk and there’s not much you can make with just milk except a glass of milk. Or a bowl of cereal. Anyway, you should make this tomorrow.

You can buy every ingredient on the list at your local Trader Joe’s, and if you don’t have a local Trader Joe’s, I feel sad for you. How do you live without their hummus and Brussels sprouts? Maybe you could start a letter-writing campaign to their corporate headquarters. Just an idea.

The Orange & Blonde Smoothie**
You will need the following:

    –a positive, can-do attitude
    –3/4 cup orange juice (the pulp-free kind, unless you’re a freak)
    –1/2 cup milk
    –1 container vanilla yogurt
    –1 cup frozen pineapple pieces
    –1 cup frozen mango pieces
    –a squeeze of agave if you are so inclined
    –a calico cat (optional, for sous chef duties. DO NOT BLEND THE CAT.)

Put alllllllll those ingredients (EXCEPT THE CAT) in your blender in that order. Trust me, the order matters; you want the liquid in first so it spins and sucks everything downward, or at least I think I read that somewhere, and plus, this way your blender only makes that awful CHUNK CHUNK CHUNK sound for a little bit when it kills the mangos. Blend on high for 15 seconds. Stop, then open the lid and stir it with a long wooden spoon briefly (it has to be wooden, or God will kill a kitten), then blend it for another 30-45 seconds. Drink it, preferably from a highball glass. Take another sip. Pause for a moment and think about how amazingly awesome you are. Pour a glass for your husband or wife and remind him or her how awesome you are. It’s so good, right? Good. Now go to work. You won’t be hungry till lunch. You’re welcome.

*Yes, I realize I really didn’t invent jack shit.
**Named by Scott in honor of these crazies, your Real Housewives of Orange County, who are all conveniently orange and blonde:

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