Never Been a Sinner, I Never Sinned

August 8, 2010 § 3 Comments

This is how my family does it.

Many years ago, my mother told me on Tuesday, my grandmother looked her in the eye and said, half sternly and half pleadingly, “Don’t bury me in blue.”

My Mom at that point was likely still living in the denial where most of us exist — that we’ll never have to bury our parents, so she replied, “But, why, Mom?”

Gram’s response? “I look dead in blue.”

And while I don’t have a grand summation of her death or her funeral this week, I have this much: When gram said that, she was thinking ahead.

She left us with a funny story to tell at the viewing, and again at the dinner. And again here. And every time I tell it or hear it, my eyes and my mouth are in direct opposition, for now, but I know — and I think she knew — that there would come a day when all the parts of my face would agree that memories of her are meant for smiling only.


My parents had put together collages of photos for the viewing. Gram as a baby, her wedding day, Christmases and Easters and confirmations. (And one photo of her with my Dad, in which he was wearing white cutoff jean shorts: Amazing.) We gathered in the funeral home lobby and around her casket — how pretty she was, how we remembered that day, that year, that visit.

Among the photos was a gift certificate. It blows my mind to think about how long she must’ve held on to this, and it blows my mind that at a young age, I was so right about something.
I Can't Believe How Long She Must've Kept This.

§ 3 Responses to Never Been a Sinner, I Never Sinned

  • gary says:

    I’m really sorry for your loss. You’ve posted a great tribute to your grandmother.

  • I think this is among the most important info for me. And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things, The website style is perfect, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers

  • I was curious if you ever considered changing the page layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

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