How Have I Not Written About MVP?

July 13, 2008 § Leave a comment


People. This show is ridiculous. It centers around a faux team of hockey players and the many, many ladies who bonk them. It’s airing on SoapNet at 11 p.m. Thursday nights; that net picked it up from Canadian channel CBC.

The most ridiculous part is that CBC canceled the show after its first season, but yet that season is still airing in the US.

Let me make sure I’m being clear: A show about HOCKEY got CANCELED in CANADA, but yet is being broadcast in the US. I would love to meet the brainiac exec who thought this was a killer decision.

Oh, wait — I forgot the MOST ridiculous part: CBC canceled it because of high production costs. Which might seem easy enough to swallow, but four episodes have aired and there hasn’t been a single scene of hockey being played, like, on ice. What the hell are they spending all that money on? Hair gel?

Now that I have effectively bashed it, I also must admit this: I freaking love MVP. The team captain is all kinds of conflicted about love, and his daddy the drunk is the team’s coach; the has-been star player killed his wife and daughter in an accident and now compulsively sleeps around; the rookie has a white-trash girlfriend who takes care of her invalid grandmother (the only storyline that has any emotional truth to it). The players all go out to bars after games and mack on hockey groupies. The New York Times is right in calling it misogynistic. It totally is. (Although, it’s gotten more equal in its humiliation of the sexes after a scene involving the rookie and a bucket tied to his manjunk.)

The thing is, the premise has so much potential, 90% of the time I’m watching I’m running over how I would have written it in my head. First things first, the bar hopping and sleeping around would stop, and I’d marry off two of the main characters, one to a high school sweetheart (they’d have a two-year-old son on the brink of being diagnosed as autistic) and the other to a female professional athlete (let them spar over whose sport is more important and difficult). The rookie storyline can stay. Oh, and hello — clearly one of the three main characters should be the team’s goalie. Mix in some actual sequences of hockey being played, some trade rumors, some sharp criticism from the press, some rivalries with other teams, and — for the love of God — a few road trips, and I really honestly think it has potential.

I expect chiming in from the husband about how wrong I am in 3… 2… 1…

More (ridiculous) photos (of the full cast! with a horse!) here.

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