From the Archives: Risk
January 23, 2008 § 1 Comment
[It seems so long ago when I wrote this; I must’ve been 22? 23? I remember at the time all this seemed like a huge revelation to me; reading it now, my reaction is more, ‘Well, duh, no shit, Meredith.’ But maybe everyone struggles to come to these realizations — and then, after realizing them, pushing them to the back of your mind, living with them, and living in spite of them. And it all seems extra timely today, as I continue reading news about Heath Ledger’s death and autopsy according to 18 different Web sites, trying to make sense of it still.]
You could run away.
You could get lost.
You could choose someone else.
You could get angry and never speak to me again.
You could disappear and i’d never know where you went.
You could get mangled in a horrible accident.
You could get suddenly ill.
You could get tired.
You could stop loving me.
You could change.
You could get kidnapped.
You could leave.
You could die.
You could do anything, anything could happen, and so many of them would hurt.
Fearlessness is a requirement to live; live fearlessly, love fearlessly, open our hearts and live and love, day by day never knowing what could or will happen in the future — being brave enough to open our hearts to the happiness of right now and pushing ahead, ignoring but acknowledging the dangers to ourselves, to our hearts, to those spaces we’ve filled up with you — only knowing that there are no guarantees, and that ultimately, everything ends.