I Cheated … And This Is My Punishment, i.e., The Go Fish Project

Update: The local DC Top 40 radio station, Hot 99.5, came forward Wednesday morning and admitted that this whole thing was a prank, designed to prop up their ratings during the week of Senator Kennedy’s death (when listeners might switch over to news stations for coverage). Oh, and it was a test of the media’s [...]

I’m Rushing Home to See Your Smiling Face and Then Your Warm Embrace That Makes Me Feel So G-G-Good

There is absolutely nothing to eat in our house right now.
His joke: Our cabinet is so bare, it should be stealing picnic baskets.
My joke: Our cupboard is so bare, it should be spread-eagle in Playboy.
I win.

“Whenever He Says, ‘Girlfriend, Here’s a Pen, Call Me ‘Round 10′ I Picture Him THROWING the Pen at Her”

Internet, I had a lovely 4th of July weekend. It was full of dancing (not my finest dancing, but, still, dancing, which I haven’t done any of since March), silliness, and fun. I haven’t been quite myself recently — insomnia has sprung up — but it was exactly what I needed to get back to [...]

I Would Love Nothing More Than to Publish Photos of Our Trip to Miami

However, on our last night in town, at approximately 1:30 a.m., I decided it was a perfect time to take a dip in Hotel Victor’s pool. Scott took my photo. We then had a glass of wine on the patio of our room (which opened out to the pool) and we left the camera outside.
The [...]

This Is What We Call Being ‘Self-Served’

Me: You know, I’m not sure where Gulfstream Park is. For some reason, I want to say it’s in Arkans–
Him: For the love of God, do not finish that sentence.
Me: Why not?
Him: Why just watched the Florida Derby.
Yes, sometimes, I am that dumb.

What I’ve Been Doing Since January

I feel guilty about my three-month blog absence, so I am going to explain where I went after January 19.
Scott’s birthday is February 3. The three weeks in between that time, I spent on his birthday gift, which, since it comes so quickly after our anniversary and Christmas, is kind of a bite in the [...]

While in the Waiting Room, Pre-MRI

‘I brought you Wired. Why are you reading my Star?’
‘I’m reading about Chris Pine’s new movie.’
‘OH YEAH???’
‘It’s called ‘Makin Pancakes.’ He just makes pancakes for 90 minutes. ‘
‘I will go to see that.’
‘I just made that up, you cougar.’

He Says, She Hears: A Real-World Example

Him: Want to go to the gym?*
Her: Ummm, not … really.
Him: Come on, let’s go to the gym.
Her: Ok, but, I’m not feeling well, but now I feel like you called me fat, and so I feel like I have to go.**
Him: When did I call you fat?
Her: When you asked me if I wanted [...]

Clearly, I Am a Master of Toast

A few weeks ago, Scott asked for my help picking a speech topic — apparently, for some reason, he joined his office’s Toastmasters group, which meets over lunch every Wednesday, and it was his turn to make his introductory talk.
I made three suggestions, and the first two received extreme eyerolls:
1. The cats.
2. Hockey.
3. Our 2008 [...]

So This Is the New Year

I am not a fan of going out on New Year’s Eve (or, let’s face it, in general). Nothing makes me happier than a pair of sweats, a movie or book, and a couch. Last year we had guests who enjoy similar activities, this year it was just Scott and I.
To dress things up a [...]