Things My Husband Must Be (Rightfully) Sick of Hearing at This Point

Baby, can you bring me … (Percocets, a pillow, ice, a magazine, the remote, a glass of water, my laptop, a book, etc.)?
If you have a sec, will you … (Go get the mail, make me food, change the cats’ water, etc.)?
Will you help me (put my pants on, wash my feet, get in the [...]

Other Things There Will Be, In Addition to Blood

Refreshments
No Horseplay
A Sense of Impending Doom
Minor Delays
After-Holiday Sales
A Representative On Hand to Answer Your Questions
An End to This
A Brief Pause While We Transfer Your Call
Light
No Dessert Unless You Finish Your Carrots, Mister
Consequences