I Need It Because I Want to Make Iced Coffee at Home

Me: Do we have a cheesecloth?
Him: I’m not really sure what that is.
Me: Me either.
Him: Is it an unmarried woman?

Nothing Could Bring Me Closer, Nothing Could Bring Me Near*

Today at work, I limped to the vending machines. I’m allowed to take a few unassisted steps a day and today I decided to spend them on a bag of Sun Chips and a bottled water. I had two crisp dollar bills in my pocket.
I went for the Sun Chips first. Dollar in, B6, and [...]

If I Stumble They’re Gonna Eat Me Alive

My recovery is not going awesome. I am still not able to get a full bend or to fully straighten from my leg — I’m missing about 15 degrees of mobility in both directions. This fact that has my surgeon “concerned” and suspicious that I’ll need a second surgery to remove scar tissue. (I’ll know [...]

They See Me Rolling…

Yes, that’s me on a scooter at Target. Shopping for a chair to put in our shower. So I can shower.
When cats get older, and they start getting sick and decrepit, they stop cleaning themselves (i.e., licking themselves). They get ratty and dull from lack of care, and it shows.
I AM AN OLD, SICK CAT. [...]

Things My Husband Must Be (Rightfully) Sick of Hearing at This Point

Baby, can you bring me … (Percocets, a pillow, ice, a magazine, the remote, a glass of water, my laptop, a book, etc.)?
If you have a sec, will you … (Go get the mail, make me food, change the cats’ water, etc.)?
Will you help me (put my pants on, wash my feet, get in the [...]

JJ Abrams and Nikki Catsouras

Photos by Mark Seliger / The Catsouras Family
Sometimes, Scott and I will be watching a movie or a TV show and a face will look familiar, so we’ll go to IMDB and look at that actor up to see what else they’ve been in (oh, right, that’s Matt Albie’s assistant from Studio 60 on the [...]

Now I (Still) Walk With a Limp

I had my first post-op surgery appointment today, and if there’s anything this whole process has proved, it’s that I am not good at the sight of blood, especially my own. (The first time Scott helped me removed all my bandages so I could shower, I took one look at the incisions, broke out in [...]

Happy 10th Birthday

Indiana Mousekowitz turns 10 today. My gift to her was spending the entire day on the couch, my lap available whenever she wanted to snooze on me, my hands available whenever she wanted some petting. I think she figured out, though, that I’ve been at home and on the couch non-stop for five days straight [...]

Ponies and Percocets

Well, obviously everything I wrote and predicted about the Derby was wrong.
The only thing that ended up saving my bankroll was a hunch about Calvin Borel. The day before he’d ridden favorite Rachel Alexandra to a 20-length victory in the Kentucky Oaks; a little before post time on Saturday, I thought to myself how amazing [...]

With I Want Revenge Scratched …

I’ve had to completely reevaluate my Derby lineup. It’s now:
$1 Trifecta
Friesan Fire, Dunkirk, Pioneerof The Nile
WITH
Those 3 plus General Quarters, Desert Party
WITH
Those 5 plus Mr. Hot Stuff, Hold Me Back, Papa Clem, Chocolate Candy
Cost= $84
Instead of playing the Flying Private exactas, I’m doubling down and boxing all the horses I still have live futures bets [...]