Me: I’ll bet you $50 right now that the Patriots win the Super Bowl.
Scott: I’m not taking that bet.
Me: I’LL BET YOU MY LIFE.
Scott: No.
Me: WHY NOT??!
Scott: BECAUSE I THINK THEY WILL!
Me: Oh. Well … I mean … you put Randy Moss on a team that already had Tom Brady and, it’s like, what do sports reporters have to talk about all season? All the improbable things that might just in case happen to prevent this really probable thing from happening? I mean. That sucks for them. $20?
Scott: No.
Me: I just want to point out that the only thing I know about Randy Moss, other than that he plays football, is that he’s mentioned in some OutKast lyrics. I’m just assuming that he’s good.
Scott: $20 it is.
…
Me: Is OutKast spelled with a C? Or a K?
Scott: A K … are you in there transcribing that conversation for your website?
Me: No …
I did not like the Darjeeling Limited. Yes, it had a few decent moments — the point at which Owen Wilson said, “Look at these assholes,” for example — but for the most part it felt like a trip to be endured. And frankly, if I were Marc Jacobs, and Wes Anderson were telling me how to design that Goddamn luggage, “right down to the color of the lining and the sort of fixtures within the luggage … and types of pockets,” I would have said, “Motherfucker, I don’t care who you are, or how Goddamn quirky you are, do you know who the fuck I am?” But who knows, maybe Marc was secretly annoyed, and maybe he was tardy with all the designs, and maybe he came to every meeting two hours late as retaliation.
It’s possible.
Leaving the theater, I asked Scott what he thought.
Scott: It was OK. I didn’t love it, but there were a few funny parts. What did you think?
Me: … I … fucking … hated it. I found the whole baggage symbolism so overdone and petulant, it drove me crazy.
Scott: I hadn’t even realized that that was symbolism until you just pointed that out …. Do you like me less now?
Me: Do you like me less when I call you at work to help me figure out percentages?
Scott: No.
Me: Well there you go.
When you’re in a hermit-ous mood, there is nothing greater than the combination of Takeout Taxi and Peapod by Giant. Immediate and long-term gratification.
I’m resting this weekend. Fighting off a cold. Recovering from NYC and happy hours and a bout of insomnia. I want to pull the covers up over my head, sit on the couch and watch the last of ‘30 Rock’ season one, disc 3 and the first two episodes of season two from the DVR, go to H&M and try on dresses, and rest. Rest, rest, rest.
