How I Know We’re Nerds (Well, Really, That He’s a Nerd)

It’s late. Scott is putting away the blackjack shoe. I’ve almost doubled my (fake) $200 buy-in.
Scott: Did you notice how quiet the shoe was tonight?
Me: Um. Actually, no.
Scott: I WD40-ed it after we last played. it’s quiet and unsqueaky now.
Me: Wow. Marry me?

Why I Kinda Love My Coworkers

Just before 2 p.m. the other day, I was in a meeting with a huge group of people, and a random guy walked into the conference room.
Random Guy: Is this the tech meeting?
Coworker #1: Do we look like nerds?
Coworker #2: Um, there are girls in this room.
Coworker #3: Of course, the tech meetings always start [...]

Just in Case Anyone Needed Further Proof That I Am Evil

Scott always falls asleep before I do. He’s a when-my-head-hits-the-pillow person, and I’m a nine-different-positions, review-entire-day’s-events, think-about-tomorrow, mentally-write-to-do-list kind of person. I wouldn’t say that his quickness to sleep drives me crazy, it just gives me rest envy.
Last night, he did his typical asleep-in-five-minutes thing. I stayed very still for another few minutes, and then, [...]

How We First Answered Some of the Marriage Counselor’s Questions, Part II

Her: So, how have things been since the last time we met?
Me: Really good … Scott has been hitting me a lot less.
Unfortunately, she’s now accustomed to our snarky comments and they don’t throw her off her game anymore. Thus, we’ve been forced to resort to chest-bumping and high-fiving, which doesn’t translate as well into [...]

Our Office, Redesigned

We redecorated our home office (nee second bedroom) not too long ago. I wish we had thought to take “Before” photos, but we totally forgot. Let me say this much: It was ugly and disorganized; we had a broken down desk facing the wall, with one chair that we had to compete for anytime either [...]

Robbing the Cradle Because Incest Is Apparently Best

My coworker’s four-year-old daughter is kind of a staple around the office. She’s adorable, and she screams a lot (in a fun discovering-her-big-new-voice kind of way, not an I’m-an-annoying-child way), and the one time that she came to happy hour with us, she demanded that she be allowed to sit next to me [...]

Nine Things I Am Currently Really, Really Liking

1. I Can Has Cheezburger: This needs no explanation.
2. Spoon, Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga: If you haven’t heard it yet, you can listen by clicking.
3. Joshua Ferris, Then We Came to the End: If you work in an office, doing anything semi-creative (writing, editing, marketing, avoiding your boss), you will see yourself in this [...]

On the Crucial Political Topic of My Hair

I recently decided that I would no longer, never ever, wear my hair down (whether straightened or curly) to the office. There are two reasons for this:
1. I am lazy. (And the blow drying and the straightening and the putting products in and the climbing back into bed for 10 minutes to then [...]

The Whole World Hearts Michael Cera

It’s kind of risky to name your movie ‘Superbad.’
I’m just sayin’.
You can watch an R-rated clip from the movie here and read a NYTimes profile of Michael here, if you are so inclined, which you probably are.

Whilst Reading US Weekly

Me: Look! Brad Pitt and I have the same phone!
Scott: Brad Pitt has a pink Juicy Couture Sidekick?!
And that reminds me — I have actually retired my Sidekick and my corresponding 703 number, so if you’re the type of reader who is also a texter or a caller, e-mail me if you haven’t gotten [...]